Millenium Falcon FaithPosted: July 16, 2007
Try as i might to replicate the symptoms and signs and accidental by-products of faith and holiness, i cannot. I strive toward patience, humble submission or interior peace (which, if achieved, would be beyond understanding) but i will always fall short.
The xian life is not of striving for spiritual gain, it is of patient, humble submission to the will of God. The struggle is not about attaining enlightenment, but about taming the beast of self-will.
If Christ is serious about his claim to be Author and Perfector, then all my holy attempts to be a “better xian” are playacting and vainglory; second-rate theatrics which Christ never calls for and are not at all interesting to him.
No one wants me touching up a Rembrandt or operating heavy machinery- both of these ideas end in disaster. But for some reason i go thru extended periods where i attempt to author and perfect my own faith. Lovely.
The Still, Small Voice whispers, slightly exasperated, “Are you done yet? Can i get back to work?”
This is all way more complicated and involved than i think it is and my role is drastically less than what i think. Thanks goodness i am reminded of this from time to time and step away for a bit.
Now to the Millenium Falcon part. Normally, i’m against faith/movie analogies; so here goes…
My faith resembles the Falcon. For starters, I co-opted it (“hey, i won it fair and square.”) from someone else who drastically modified it from the makers original intentions. It’s pieced together, (“i’ve made a few modifications myself”) run-down (“what a piece of junk!”), falling apart (“Hear me, baby? Hold together”). Ineffectual (“this bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade”), and doesn’t stand up well to criticism (“she’s got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart”- yep, that’s scriptural).
Being the scoundrel in this scenario doesn’t help, either.
And the very best part, to bring it full circle, i think i know what i’m doing and and i know where we’re trying to get to with this faith thing and… “I’m trying to get us out of here and you’re taking this apart?!” It’s pretty tough trying to be smug, self assured and confident thru all this. Say what you will about how the Falcon got the job done, blah, blah, blah… the point is, this is what faith looks like when i do the designing.